// ***** Random Quotes ****** // Script: Random Quote // Functions: This simple script allows you to print random // quotations in the page. Any number of quotes // may be used. // Browsers: All // Author: etLux // INSTRUCTIONS: // Put the following script in the of your page, // wherever you want the quotes to appear. Simply set up the // quotations in the Quotations[] array, then paste in the // whole block of code. To format the text, wrap the usual // font tags around the script (view source on our demo on this // page for an example.) // // TECH NOTE: // // In quotation 8, note the text, \"beauty\" -- if you need // to use double-quote " marks, you *must* precede each // double-quote with a backslash \... otherwise the script // will break. // // THE CODE: // ============================================== // Copyright 2004 by CodeLifter.com // Free for all; but please leave in this header. // ============================================== var Quotation=new Array() // do not change this! // Set up the quotations to be shown, below. // To add more quotations, continue with the // pattern, adding to the array. Remember // to increment the Quotation[x] index! Quotation[0] = "\"I preach the Gospel at all times and sometimes I use words.\"
St. Francis of Assisi"; Quotation[1] = "Words are the window to the heart."; Quotation[2] = "Stop, drop & roll doesn't work in hell."; Quotation[3] = "What is missing from ch ch?
U R"; Quotation[4] = "Walmart is not the only saving place."; Quotation[5] = "if it doesn't cost you, then don't offer it to God."; Quotation[6] = "God promises a safe port, but not a calm passage."; Quotation[7] = "Home Improvement...Take your family to church!"; Quotation[8] = "Despite storms, the anchor will hold.
Keep the faith."; Quotation[9] = "To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you."; Quotation[10] = "Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world!"; Quotation[11] = "It is unlikely there'll ever be a reduction in the wages of sin."; Quotation[12] = "Forbidden fruit creates many jams."; Quotation[13] = "Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons - come hear one."; Quotation[14] = "Have you read my #1 best seller? There will be a test.
God"; Quotation[15] = "Some people sow their oats on Saturday night, and pray for crop failure Sunday morning."; Quotation[16] = "3 nails + 1 cross = 4 given."; Quotation[17] = "A bird does not sing because it has an answer -- it sings because it has a song."; Quotation[18] = "A friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart."; Quotation[19] = "God so loved the world that he did not send a committee!" Quotation[20] = "Free trip to Heaven
Details inside" Quotation[21] = "This church is a gift from God... Some assembly required." Quotation[22] = "Salvation guarenteed-
or your sins cheerfully refunded" Quotation[23] = "Christians...
Keep the faith
But not from each other." Quotation[24] = "Body piercing-
Saved my life!" Quotation[25] = "Get on your knees and fight like a real man." Quotation[26] = "Excercise daily-
Walk with God." Quotation[27] = "Satan....
The fat lady is about to sing!" Quotation[28] = "Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out." Quotation[29] = "Can you hear me now?
How about now?
God" Quotation[30] = "Have you tried out your smile today?" Quotation[31] = "God answers knee mail" Quotation[32] = "Warning: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning." Quotation[33] = "If evolution were true, mothers would have 3 arms!" Quotation[34] = "If God is your copilot - switch seats." Quotation[35] = "The wages of sin is death...
Repent before pay day." Quotation[36] = "The best vitamin for a Christian is B1" Quotation[37] = "Parents are God's baby-sitters." Quotation[38] = "When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say,
Jesus, could You please get that for me?" Quotation[39] = "Kindness is treating others the way God treats you." Quotation[40] = "He who angers you controls you." Quotation[41] = "Where will you be after you die?" Quotation[42] = "Don't give up. Moses was once a basket case." Quotation[43] = "Prevent truth decay. Brush up on your Bible." Quotation[44] = "The best vitamin for a Christian is B1." Quotation[45] = "Under same management for over 2000 years." Quotation[46] = "Soul food served here." Quotation[47] = "Tithe if you love Jesus! Anyone can honk!" Quotation[48] = "Beat the Christmas rush, come to church this Sunday!" Quotation[49] = "Don't wait for the hearse to take you to church." Quotation[50] = "Life has many choices, Eternity has two. What's yours?" Quotation[51] = "Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due." Quotation[52] = "Preach the gospel at all times. Use words if necessary." Quotation[53] = "It's hard to stumble when you're down on your knees." Quotation[54] = "What part of 'THOU SHALT NOT' don't you understand?" Quotation[55] = "A clear conscience makes a soft pillow." Quotation[56] = "The wages of sin is death. Repent before payday." Quotation[57] = "Never give the devil a ride. He will always want to drive." Quotation[58] = "Can't sleep? Try counting your blessings." Quotation[59] = "Forbidden fruit creates many jams." Quotation[60] = "Christians, keep the faith...but not from others!" Quotation[61] = "Satan subtracts and divides. God adds and multiplies." Quotation[62] = "If you don't want to reap the fruits of sin stay out of the devil's orchard." Quotation[63] = "To belittle is to be little." Quotation[64] = "Don't let the littleness in others bring out the littleness in you." Quotation[65] = "Try Jesus. If you don't like Him, the devil will always take you back." Quotation[66] = "True friendship is like sound health, the value of it is seldom known until it be lost." Quotation[67] = "God sweetens outward pain with inward peace." Quotation[68] = "Kindness is a language the blind can see and the deaf can hear." Quotation[69] = "Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished." Quotation[70] = "Christ is Life... the rest is just details." Quotation[71] = "If you don't want to get burned, follow the Son." Quotation[72] = "Life is fragile. Handle with prayer." Quotation[73] = "Just because you know the pastor doesnt mean you know the Master." Quotation[74] = "All my sin, plus one cross, equals my salvation." Quotation[75] = "My cooking has improved, now we pray before we eat, rather than before I cook." Quotation[76] = "Don't be so heavenly minded that you are no earthly good." Quotation[77] = "God does not call the able but enables the called " Quotation[78] = "If God called you, do not spend time looking over your shoulder to see whose following." Quotation[79] = "The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close." Quotation[80] = "Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever." Quotation[81] = "Peace starts with a smile." Quotation[82] = "Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous." Quotation[83] = "Be ye fishers of men. You catch them - He'll clean them." Quotation[84] = "Did it ever occur to you that nothing occurs to God?" Quotation[85] = "Hell has no exits.
Heaven needs none." Quotation[86] = "Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited. Until you try to sit in their pews." Quotation[87] = "Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors." Quotation[88] = "It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one." Quotation[89] = "When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there." Quotation[90] = "People are funny; they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church." Quotation[91] = "Quit griping about your Church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong." Quotation[92] = "If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has." Quotation[93] = "God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?" Quotation[94] = "Some minds are like concrete thoroughly mixed up and permanently set." Quotation[95] = "We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges or gossipers." Quotation[96] = "Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church." Quotation[97] = "One of the most powerful handclasps is that of a new grand-baby around the finger of a grandfather." Quotation[98] = "There is no I in Jesus, but there is an us." // ====================================== // Do not change anything below this line // ====================================== var Q = Quotation.length; var whichQuotation=Math.round(Math.random()*(Q-1)); function showQuotation(){document.write(Quotation[whichQuotation]);}